Wednesday, December 29, 2010

12.34am. finally i get down to blogging 1 week after my attachment has ended.

i guess the experience has been meaningful. learnt some stuff and entertained myself by observing my mentor :O actually i think my mentor is perfectly normal just sometimes i'm really bored so small things can entertain me haha. like how he can't let go of his past, how he shows off his papers when it's gonna get published (in a cute way, no negativity :x) and how he acts cool (lol >.<). how he's so extremely particular about presentation style (he doesn't read calculations that are in two columns) and how he picks on my grammar mistakes (._. u can tell my gp is really bad from this). overall i actually thought that my mentor was one of the best part of my attachment.i guess i'm really lucky to get a nice and kind one (non fierce and semi-slacker :x)

my most memorable experience with him? when he actually tried to teach me some qualities :O (not really 人生道理 but somewhat similar). so the story goes... he was explaining to me some of the ideas blah blah so i just asked him some qns and tried to confirm with him some of those stuff that he says. then suddenly he stares at me (real serious and all. looked abit scary :O) and says

"what is it that u can't accept?" and frowns.
"just confirm only"
frowns again. "be confident. don't have to confirm. if u think it's right, then it's right... most of the time."
nods my head.

lol that was just so sudden and random, it gave me a tiny shock >.<

oh goodness, i talked too much about my mentor. i need to get over him lol.

anyway the attachment was rather good in some sense (let me see the real deal about research). but it took up wayyy too much time. trying to catch up on alot of my holiday hw and i hvnt started a single bit of revision. i always end up in this situtaion towards the end of the holidays and it's just really bad. i really need to change this about myself. i hope i can finish up to 70% of my hw before sch reopens, afterall they aren't really going to go thru all those revision sets so i guess i can catch up on those again.

i hate hardworking ppl and muggers because they can do what i can't and they remind me of my weakness. let me work towards breaking down that barrier around them and me and falling into their embrace.

saw in the darkness 12:32 AM

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Wednesday, December 8, 2010

that guy has the power to make you feel comfortable around him even though we've only met twice.

talked abit too much to him. i hope nothing happens.

sometimes i wish i could go back into my loner mode. for i often hate myself for saying things meant for my alter ego.

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once is luck
twice is coincidence
thrice is fate
four times and i believe it's a curse.

saw in the darkness 11:59 PM

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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

being in this attachment has been rather thought provoking (not sure its the right word to use). what do i really want in my life? research was never fun or exciting and u need so much brain power for it. yet, on the other hand, why are all researchers so obsessed with their work.

let me make an analogy. sports ppl train all their life, i'm sure it ain't fun either but why are they so many who still do it? i guess it's all for that moment of glory on the podium. maybe it's the same with the researchers, though i dunno whr they find their inspiration and motivation.

mixed feelings. i can't decide if i want research to be part of my life. perhaps it's time to rethink the choices, perhaps we shld just let things work out on their own.

ppl ask me, do i regret joining this? maybe because it never was fun. maybe not, because it showed me the truth of reality. afterall, it has always been my belief that it's better to regret doing than regret not doing.

saw in the darkness 12:41 PM

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