Friday, February 29, 2008
i do not feel a sense of pride or rather i never did and never will even after being in the cca for 3 long arduous years. it's totally ridiculous when they keep talking about leading with good qualities and these leaders who are supposed to guide the juniors do not possess good qualities at all. having people retained due to bad results is not that bad but why someone given a demerit point for dishonesty and at the same time they expect us to be honest to a person who is dishonest. it's totally unreasonable. he has just lost all the respect i have for him and he's done nothing that's worth the respect. i don't see how they are able to instill good moral values in us this way. aren't leaders supposed to be good role models who lead with their actions. in this case are we suppose or are we not suppose to follow their actions?
why must i go through such unpleasantness on a day that occurs once every 4 years? but do i have a choice?
the moment i gave in and the first step out of the room after a failed appeal was my first step pass the gates of hell and beyond the point of no return. i should have fought till the last second, till my blood runs dry...
唉。。感叹。。感叹我的人生如此无精无彩。。感叹我的周遭事物如此残酷。。
羡慕。。羡慕电视剧里大家的自由自在。。羡慕他们的愉快。。羡慕他们能毫不犹豫地与大家称兄道弟。。
梦里就让我做电视剧里的人物吧。。即使是微不足道的小人物也好，因为至少我能感受到一丝自由，快乐
"在我心上用力的开一枪，让一切归零在这声巨响" - 人质
我真渴望能如此。。。
有谁能将我拉出地狱吗？
有谁能救我吗？
saw in the darkness 9:47 PM
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Saturday, February 23, 2008
.down with a slight flu and fever
.an illness which came too early
.dear germs dear bacteria dear everything which can make me sick and recover in one day
.i need your help
.but not now
.i need your support
.but not now
.please treat this as a break for you
.please go away for now
.please come back 2+ wks later
.please give me your support
.please aid me in my battle
.i look forward to the day
.only if...
.only if you'll support me
___ my desperation my hatred
.i will fight you
.i will..
.this is my final chance
.please let me trust in myself one last time
.one last time..
saw in the darkness 11:30 PM
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Friday, February 15, 2008
Poor Souls
.15th february, a memorable day
.the sec ones entered rvnp for their first time
.please..
.let us take a good look at them
.let us look at their first and their last sincere smile
.their one and only sincere smile in np
.let us remember their smiles
.let us safeguard their smiles for them
.and hope for a chance to return to them
.they do not know what is in store for them
.mislead by the pictures on the slides
.please..
.reach out to these poor souls who are about to lose their smiles
.let us pull them away from this tortourous life
.let us pull them away before they enter the gates of hell
.i envy them for their innocence
.i envy them for their joy
.i envy them for having what i have been searching for
.let us keep for them what we have lost
.let us keep for them what we yearn for
.our freedom our joy
.this is the start, this is the end
.the start of their hellish life
.the end of their freedom
.i pity them
.i cry for them
.i cheer for them as the numbers dwindle
.i pray for their success
.let us help them
.let us stop this undesirable life
"在命运的巨轮里，时间是向后走的，很多事情已经有了结果，你只不过是把它执行出来。"
saw in the darkness 7:40 PM
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Monday, February 11, 2008
got back physics test and its nothing to be proud of
当我看见我的成绩时
我笑了。。。
不是因为考得太好
而是自己都认为很可笑
竟然会考到那种成绩
我不禁质疑了我所谓的努力
我真的努力了吗？
saw in the darkness 10:10 PM
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Saturday, February 9, 2008
behind the stack of ang paos.. where the real misery lies ):
do you recognis what's beneath the ang paos?
its the bio ws ):
what a sad life.. CNY ain't that great after all..
or rather..
nothing except the angpaos is great
oh well.. maybe the gambling part was quite great too..
still.. i hate homework.. i hate school... i hate i hate i hate.. i have too much to hate..
我渐渐跟不上你的脚步，而你却不曾为我停下过。。。
saw in the darkness 3:35 PM
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