Tuesday, March 18, 2008
school is getting too stressful for me, i really cant cope. now i understand why people commit suicide due to stress, i wish i could too, but i do not have that courage in me to do so. good or bad? i do not know.
i tried working hard but it's useless, i worked hard for the tests but nothing comes out of it. what else can i do?
everything is just so wrong. it's already been 3 months into the year but things are still not going right. tests, exams, ccas. all these are forcing me into a corner, i hardly have enough breathing space. parents are pressurising me, teachers are pressurising me, it seems that the only ones who understand us is our own peers, afterall they're going through the same thing as us, but that does ot help in me coping better at all. things are getting from bad to worse. the first test wasn't exactly great and my results are going down down down. i'm not trying to aim for the stars, i just hope they stop going down. im trying harder and harder, i put in more and more effort but it seems that the effort never corresponds with the results. even though im trying harder, results are still going down. whats the point? it makes everything feel so insignificant.
i have no more drive left in me. im drained of all my emotions (from doing all the article reviews) and energy. the only thing left in me is blood, the dreadful blood which is keeping me alive and kicking. how i wish im drain of all my blood too. i have lost my passion to work hard, i have lost my passion to study (it existed, believe it or not). what else can i do, i really don't know.
一失足成千古恨, i really comprehend this now, i should never have entered this school, i really hate myself now. really.
i want to shed this mask of pretence, but can i?
my life is so off track, i cannot even see the right path
Your Life is 90% Off Track
|
Okay, so you probably are living the wrong life. But the good news is, you know it.
You ultimately control how good or bad your life is - and it's time to get to work.
Get therapy, dump your significant other, or move across the country. It's time to shake things up.
|
saw in the darkness 9:39 PM
* * *
